Confusion rules this shifting age

Thanksgiving and Such

2009-11-28T17:11:03Z

Well, Thanksgiving went well. I realized halfway through the night that if I get accepted to JCMU for the full year that I wont be sharing Thanksgiving with my family next year... which then made me think of Christmas, New Years, Birthdays... a whole year of events that I wont be around for. It's sad, especially now that Noah is starting to walk, and talk and things. I don't want to miss his second birthday. At the same time it made me think- "Wow, this time next year I could be in Japan... and that's so sweet!"

I've got about a million homework assignment to do today. My teachers all gave me a ton of work to do over break. They are trying to squeeze any extra knowledge that they can out of us before the year is over I'm sure. Only two weeks left! I'm so excited. This semester has gone by really fast. I'm so happy that I am finally back in school and that the end is in my sights. I have A Plan now. After a year in Japan I should have a few more semesters to get my degree, then I'm going to go for my Masters. Unless I win the lottery or something I will be living with my parents until then, because I realize now that the only way I'm going to make it through school financially is if I live with as few financial burdens as possible, which means rent, utilities, and I also save a lot on food costs. So I will be here till I am 30-ish. Eesh. I guess the idea doesn't bother me as much as it used to. It's tough economic times, sacrifices must be made. Like personal freedom.

I should have every debt I've ever incurred paid off by the time I go to Japan. That will feel nice. I've already knocked out quite a few of them... but there are a couple of big ones that I need to pay off. In the spring I've decided I'm going to drag everything from my storage space out and have a giant yard sale. By the time I have my own place to put all that stuff, it will have cost me ten times more that if I just bought it new. I'm going to make a list of all of the things I have and post in in my journal... so if anybody wants/needs anything they can let me know and I'll give you the buddy discount :) I've got like thirteen boxes alone of just kitchen supplies... so if anyone likes to cook... keep an eye out. My beautiful matching coffee machine and microwave... both brand new... both sitting in storage for a year now. So many things... I will miss them.

Life... in general

2009-11-14T15:44:07Z

So, my first semester at EMU is almost over. I just finished registering for next semester. I am thrilled that I am finally getting my life together. Next September I will be going to live in Japan for a year, going to school at JCMU in Shiga. I'm really excited but also panicked on how I am going to come up with not only the money to pay for school itself, but I have to bring all of my spending money for the year since I am not allowed to hold a job in Japan with a student visa.

I'm also really glad that I made the decision to start from scratch as far as Japanese courses go, because while I could have tested into a higher level, I now feel much more comfortable with the foundation of the language and it has been making new concepts a lot easier to grasp. Not that my Japanese is very good mind you... I still have a ways to go.

My nephew took his first steps on my sister's birthday last week. I think that's awesome. Also, her husband has been doing a lot better. I know some of you knew he was going through a difficult time with his cancer and the surgeries and recovery weren't going as planned (reminds me of someone else I know... ) but he is doing great now and returning to work soon.

I apologize to people who wait at this journal for news of fan-fiction updates and I apologize for letting you down thus far. I've tried to continue writing several times and it just isn't working out. I do plan to eventually finish Boy Who Cried Potter... but once I can manage to finish it... I'm pretty sure that's going to be it for me as far as fan-fics go.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. It seems like over such a long period of time I might have more to say... but I've got nothing.

Here I am

2009-09-16T14:50:32Z

So... this is just a note to let everyone know what I'm going to be doing sometime this weekend.

I am deleting about a million of my entries, re-vamping my layout, doing a friends cut... and starting semi fresh. I've been wanting to do this for a while now. Mostly, it's because there are several fandoms that I do not take an active part in anymore. I still enjoy the things, but I am sort of turned off by a lot of the things I see in fandom in general, and this time away has really made me realize that I don't need it. I plan on working on getting

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Hello!

2009-01-14T17:34:01Z

I am back with the internet now! Yippee!

Updates:

I am officially living in Kalamazoo with a group of friends. We hi-jacked Melanie's old futon bunk in the middle of the night and I now rest peacefully on the top bunk :) I always wanted a bunk bed growing up... so this is like a life long dream come true. It's like a sleepover party every night with Kim and Dan sharing the bunk under mine. Woo for living out childhood dreams!

I have yet to receive my unemployment money, and I actually got a letter the other day saying that I didn't qualify because I "voluntarily quit" my job... which is bull, so I called my previous employer and told them the issues I have been having and about the letter and they got it cleared up (I hope) and I should finally get a check within the next two weeks.

My birthday is fast approaching. This Saturday! I'm 25, halfway through 30 already and still no kisses! My new year's resolution is to meet more people. This is a good area to do that, seeing as how it is a college town, there are a million kids my age here.

Um... what else... Kim, Dan and I recorded ourselves singing a song and Dan flipped out about it and is now insisting we do Open Mic @ this local coffee place.

Reveals were posted for hd_holidays so I can finally post my story in my own journal, though I plan to add to it, because there were things I wanted to get more in-depth with that I didn't get the chance to because of time constraints. I am also taking part in hd_worldcup for the first time this year, so I'm pumped about that.

Also, I will be able to resume "Boy Who Cried Potter"... finally.

My sister had her baby! Dec, 31st 2008:

That's all really.

I'm very glad to be back!

The intranetz... they are broken

2008-12-24T22:53:54Z

Have been without internet for a bit now...

At my parent's for the Holidays.....

Returning the eve after...

Will be without internet again...

indefinitely.

Woe.

Changes

2008-12-04T18:20:07Z

It feels like right now in my life everything is changing.

I'm a bit afraid to see where this leaves me, but at the same time I woke up this morning with a strange sort of optimism. Like all the things that are happening right now are taking me in the direction I was meant to have gone in some time past. I feel like there is something waiting for me that is going to be a part of who I am for the rest of my life once I find it.

Tomorrow is my last day here in the office, and this weekend will be the first time I'm moving more than ten minutes away from where I grew up. My sister is going to have her baby, most likely next week. I'm leaving behind a friend who I haven't been away from since we became friends in the first place. I just lost a friendship that I thought I would have till I died. I'll be going to school somewhere new, with renewed purpose.

It's all very horrifying. I've been extremely emotional this past week. I'm strangely emotional typing this --I feel a thrill at the possibilities and opportunities I know wait for me, but upset about all the things that I'm moving away from. The differing emotions are sort of making me nauseous.

I know this is the right thing to do. Every instinct tells me it is... but I'm scared. That my instincts are wrong. That I'm making a rolling snowball of bad decisions.

When I think about Noah, my sister's soon-to-be son, and playing with him, and his little baby face smiling... I have to fight not to cry with how happy it makes me. It's the main reason why I am making this move. At the same time... it makes me equally upset thinking that this move was a large catalyst to the friendship I recently lost, a friendship that I thought I would have with and around me if and when I ever had a child of my own.

But I know this move is something I need. I can tell, I just *know*, that my life is meant to go this way --but what if it's not?

I always thought I was someone who could roll with the punches, but this whole thing has me on the verge of a breakdown. How can one small move feel like the best thing in the world but fill me with dread I have never known so completely? I feel like this move is the metaphorical fork in the road. The one big thing that will make the difference in the end.

Maybe it's just that it's happening so fast, or that it's happening so soon, but I feel like I'm not ready for whatever chapter I'm on, but that I would be making a huge mistake if I didn't go ahead.

I got new glasses yesterday, and in a strange way I feel like I've got a whole new face... and I just hope that it's the right one to head into this with.

The Ecomony is Mental

2008-11-25T15:00:43Z

Well, I knew it would eventually come to this, because you can't be an Auto Supplier in Michigan without feeling the wrath of the economy.

A bunch of people were let go today. In an attempt to avoid this, my company did the 'partial layoffs' that I fell victim to a couple months ago, the reason why I had to move back in with Mom and Dad. Today it got a lot worse. Luckily, I am the only person in the company that knows how to do certain aspects of my job, that HAVE to get done... so instead of getting laid off, effective the 15th of December, I will be working on an 'as needed' basis. So there might be times when I don't work at all, and other times when I am very busy.

It was awkward, my boss was crying while telling me, but I had already prepared myself. I felt strange trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay, even when she kept telling me that it wasn't okay. I'm the least of my concern. I would be upset if they didn't cut my hours, not that I don't want a job, but I don't have children to support, I don't have a house to lose... many of the people who were laid off today do. I know one person, who for a fact, is going to lose her house... and I'm supposed to be upset for myself?

Some of these people have worked for the company for thirty years... and I just started a year and a half ago... I can't bring myself to feel bad for my own sake. I feel horrible for everyone else, and guilty that I get to keep my job at all. I feel bad for Betty, for the stress she put herself through having to tell me that I was going to loose more hours, and my benefits.

It's going to be a long, cold winter.

ATTENTION

2008-11-24T18:48:16Z

I am sending out holiday cards again this year.

If you would like one (because who doesn't like receiving cards?) leave your address in a comment to this SCREENED post.

I am hand making the cards (per usual) and will include happy good-time thoughts.

So... leave me your address... and I'll send you a card. :)

I have not died!

2008-11-24T16:35:16Z

I know I have said this before... but I am going to be continuing Boy Who Cried Potter. I have been crazy stressed and have crazy issues lately which is why I haven't been around.

I am going to be moving again in about a week. I am moving to Kalamazoo to be closer to my sister, who is due to have her baby between the 11th and 25th of December. I'll be living with friends, who I've lived with before. I also would like to go back to school, and the community college near her offers a degree that I am interested in, and all of my credits will transfer, so that's good. They also have a couple of certificate programs that I am excited to go for.

Things on the work front have been stressful. I've been super busy because we always have a lot of changes that need to be made at the end of the year with the Websites/Catalogs/Price Lists. Especially now, with the economy and the scary situation with the Auto Industry here (my company is an auto supplier based in Michigan), many of our product lines have become more expensive.

Living with my parents has been stressing me out. I've mentioned before that my mother is a little bit nutty and I guess since I have moved away my parents stopped sleeping in the same room, and they turned what was my room into an office, so when I moved back... I'm sleeping in the room with the one computer that we all share, that runs like molasses, and that my mom likes to be on late at night. Also, I think I mentioned this before, but my car broke, and I still haven't gotten a new one. My mom has been driving me to work in the mornings and I absolutely fear for my life. She is one of the most horrifying drivers on the road and I consider it a miracle that she hasn't killed anyone yet.

That's another good thing about moving to K-zoo, free public transit for students.

I've recently had a strange sort of falling out with one of my closest friends, which has got me down.

I've been feeling very lonely again, which is nothing new I guess, but I just wish it were easier to meet new people.

I had a lot of stress with my hd_holidays fic. I was so excited to participate and I had wanted to for the last couple years and it just seems like every possible thing that could have gone wrong, did. I managed to get it in (with some crazy extensions), I just wish I could be more proud of it. The whole thing kind of left me frustrated because of my file issues, and beta issues, and then after re-reading my fic... I'm not even sure I like it. Plus, my person requested humor, and I've been feeling anything but humorous lately.

I don't know. I guess I'm just feeling very blah about everything lately. Hopefully the move, and living with friends again, and being near my sister and my soon to be nephew will pull me out of this five month long funk.

bemygoodday @ 2008-11-07T16:14:00

2008-11-07T21:19:04Z

OMG!!!

ATTENTION: Hyde fans on the FL- hyde_stillness is back in action.

2008-11-05T19:17:29Z

Info:
Mel and I created this community about three years ago and we gave it up to a couple of other mods when we both got too busy to take care of it anymore. Anyhow, recently the mods over there became too busy for it and I decided to give the place another go. It has really died over there and I've taken some measures to revive it, but I'm so far out of the Hyde fandom loop that I'm going to need your help!

If you are a Hyde fan, have Hyde fan friends, or are in a Hyde-related community, please pimp! I would love to see the place active again. We had a lot of really talented members in the past and I'm sure we can turn out some really awesome icons together! All for the love of HYDE!

P.S.

2008-11-05T04:25:31Z

Yes!

2008-11-05T04:07:03Z

HoooooooooooooRAY!

Just cast my vote!

2008-11-04T14:28:43Z

Attention US citizens of my friends list:

VOTE! PLEASE, PLEASE VOTE!

Hitch a ride, call a cab, ride a bike... but get your ass at the polls!

thank you

New Layout

2008-10-10T15:15:14Z

I made myself a new layout yesterday. I love it so much! I really needed to change it because I was hating visiting my journal before.

Would you guys take a peek and tell me if the load time is too slow? It's working pretty fast for me, but my connection here at work is super amazing, so who knows...

Anyhow, Updates on Boy Who Cried Potter coming next week.

I also plan on finishing my fic for hd_holidays by the end of next week, so I'll be very busy with the writing. Still haven't found a beta and it needs to be done by November 8th. So if your are interested or know someone who might be, let me know. Once I finish it, if I haven't found someone I'll just ask around other places... but I've had beta woes before and I would rather have someone I know, or at least someone who comes recommended take a look at it. I can't miss my deadline!

Hi!

2008-10-06T20:53:57Z

A small update to let everyone know what's going on with me.

I finally finished moving all of my stuff out of my apartment and am now officially living with Mom & Pop again. So far it hasn't been too bad, I think my mother is making a very conscious effort to be civil- which really, is all I ask for.

Like I didn't have enough money issues, my car died last weekend. As in, the permanent, you might as well sell this for scrap, kind of died. = blows.

Not much else is going on. Man alive... I lead an exciting life.

I haven't done this in a long time, but I made some random icons so... I'm going to post them. *nod* They are all for Supernatural.

teaser:

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	x	x

bemygoodday @ 2008-09-24T08:28:00

2008-09-24T12:41:14Z

I just want to let everyone know~

I have not abandoned "Boy Who Cried Potter", I've just been crazy busy lately trying to revive hp_stillness and with RL, trying to be moved out of my apartment by the 30th. I know a handful of people have friended my journal recently with the express reason of keeping up with my updates. For those people, I would like to let you know, my next update to the fic will not be until mid October, so hang tight, and I'm sure that once I've moved everything in and gotten settled, I'll have the time for regular updates again.

I want to leave a special apology to tmkline because the fic is for her.

I am also taking part for the first time in hd_holidays. I've already plotted and outlined and written a few scenes for my fic, but the whole thing is due, and beta'd by November 8th, so rest assured, I'll have my writing hat back on very soon.

Speaking of hd_holidays... anyone want to beta my fic for me when I've finished?

Oh, and all you HP fans on my list... check out hp_stillness and make some icons! I want to bring that place back to the glory days of about 3 years ago when they had 50-60 submissions a week!

Friends Cut

2008-09-08T19:56:10Z

I just did a friends cut and want to let people know that in no-way is it personal. I may end up removing more in the near future, but I need to touch base with those people before I do so. Also, because my journal is not friends only... this cut wont prevent you from reading my entries if for some crazy reason you choose to do so.

About being poor...

2008-09-04T01:19:34Z

Remember that thing where I don't have any money and have to move out because of it? In addition to my $735 rent that I cannot afford (which is the reason I am leaving), I have been told that I need to pay $1400 in order to get out of my lease. Because CLEARLY the smart thing to do when someone can't afford to live somewhere is charge them three times their rent to leave!

Because of this, I will be selling things on eBay. Things I don't really want to part with. The first of which being this fabulous poster that was autographed by 22 members of the GoF cast! If you or anyone you know is a big Harry Potter fan, please check out this eBay auction, or pimp it to the high heavens. I am hoping that I can bring in a considerable amount of money starting with this auction so I don't have to post other things that I really don't want to have to part with.

The auction

Fic: Boy Who Cried Potter - 4

2008-08-26T20:28:02Z

Title: Boy Who Cried Potter - 4
Author: bemygoodday
Word Count: 1,600 (this part)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Draco is stranded in the muggle world without and magic. Potter is his only hope.
Warning(s): No beta
Note: This story is based off of the request tmkline made.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: I meant to post this forever ago! I've been so distracted by RL yet again!

Prologue :: Chapter 1 :: Chapter 2 :: Chapter 3

( Boy Who Cried Potter - 4 )

I just... don't know what to do.

2008-08-21T19:18:43Z

As many of you, at least... the people that read my journal, know-- I have money problems. I've been looking for a part time job to help me out with that recently.

I just got called into my boss' office and told that 23 people in the company are losing their full time status, and that if 23 people don't voluntarily take that offer, then 5 people will be involuntarily let go. Seeing as how I would be one of the five at risk, due to the small size of my department, I was told by my boss, that for me, I really had no choice but to take the cut in hours. It goes into effect Sept 2nd, and I will be losing almost $500 a month as a result.

I just... really can't afford to live anymore. It isn't the company's fault, or my boss' fault... or anyones really. It's just the economy and as shitty as a person it makes me, I really wish it was someones fault, so I had someone to blame. But I don't.

I kept it together while Betty was telling me what was happening and while we were working out what days a week I would have to take off, but as soon as I got to my office I just had to sit there for a while and cry, and I'm still crying writing this. I just don't know what to do. I haven't heard anything back from the few places I've applied, I'll have to try some new ones, but even with the extra money now... it still wont be enough, because I needed a second job in addition to what I get paid now. I'm losing more per month than I can make up with a part time job anywhere, because this job pays really well.

I'm going to go to my apartment office today after work and find out how much it will cost me to leave my lease early. I'm going to have to move in with my parents again, because at least they will let me live with them rent free, which will save me $735 per month. I'll have to get rid of my cats. God. I really love my cats. But I can't have them there. I really don't want to go back home. I left for a reason and I feel like I'm killing myself admitting that I don't have a choice.

I really wish she would have waited until the end of the day to tell me this, or at least let me go home afterward. I'm just so fucked.

Exit 49

2008-08-09T11:18:29Z

My old room mate Dan joined a band a few months ago and I'm really proud of him. They are doing great. At first when I heard about it, I thought it was just a bit of fooling around, and while I've always thought Dan had talent, I hadn't heard the rest of the band, so, when they did battle of the bands (BotB) last month (and it was to be their first performance) I was prepared to play the supportive friend no matter how much they sucked. But you know what? They didn't suck! They are really good, and even though BotB was their first show... they still won. Right now they are in Kalamazoo's Got Talent and have made it to the second round. I really wouldn't be surprised if they won that either. I'm hoping the best for them! All of the guys are really nice and I'm glad that Dan's got them. I hope this band becomes something of a big thing, because not only do I think Dan deserves it, but from living with him for a year, I can attest to say that it's what he was destined to do. It's his biggest wish, and he NEVER STOPS. I used to get annoyed when I would wake up at 3:00 in the morning to hear him playing his guitar and singing... but he doesn't live with me anymore, so now I can appreciate that he was just doing something he loved. I hope this works out for him.

Oh, his band's name is 'Exit 49' (I really didn't like the band name... at all when he first told me... but I think it's growing on me).

Check out their myspace and have a listen, I'm so PROUD!

Oh, PS- He's the singer. (and he plays guitar)

::Another PS:: Remember when I made those baseball T-shirts for my sister's bachelorette party? I thought it was funny that Dan wore one for his first gig.

Huh.

2008-08-09T10:27:21Z

It is decidedly creepy to be the only person at work. Especially since it's so fucking early the sun hasn't even risen and the whole place is shrouded in darkness and I don't know where the main light switch is, so my office it the only one lit and outside my door is a land of creepy darkened cubes. Oh, it's also creepy when I hear curious scratching noises at my window.

Le sigh.

It's going to be a long morning. I think I maybe got an hour of sleep? Hopefully the combination of coffee and fear will keep me awake.

J-Rock & J-Fashion Mags for sale

2008-08-08T11:47:42Z

Hello! I just wanted anyone on my friends list that might be interested to know that Melanie and I have posted some of our J-Rock and J-Fashion Magazines for sale.

You can see them here. There are more J-Fashion magazines and some Harry Potter stuff going up soon too, Its just so tedius to post stuff on e-bay that I've been too lazy to finish posting all my items >_<

Fic: Boy Who Cried Potter - 3

2008-08-04T19:42:03Z

Title: Boy Who Cried Potter - 3
Author: bemygoodday
Word Count: 2,300 (this part)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: After Draco fails the Dark Lord he hides from his past in the last place anyone would think to look-- the muggle world.
Warning(s): No beta
Note: This story is based off of the request tmkline made.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: I was MIA for a while due to RL and apologize to the people who were follwing this fic, then had to deal with my near two month absence. I'm back on track now. Sorry to have kept you waiting!

Prologue :: Chapter 1 :: Chapter 2

( Boy Who Cried Potter - 3 )